Capture Motives




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Article: Capture Motives
Author: Olusola David, Ayibiowu
Edition: 18
Year:   October 2017
Published: Online by Creative Arts Solution Foundation 
Short link: http://bit.ly/2gxTGCb
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                      Kindly Read:
                 Dear Reader 






Introduction

The Capture Motives in working with human motivation are most important because it is the means of perpetuating and improving society in our world today. A negative motive is having an immoral intention while A positive motive is having a moral intention. 


Example:
 
John went to the movies with his friend Peter with the intention of stealing his wallet. = negative motive
 
John went to the movies with his friend Peter with the intention of making a friend. = positive motive
MOTIVE, which comes from the Latin motus “a moving, motion,” meaning “that which inwardly moves a person to behave a certain way.
Psychology tells us that motivation (motive + ion) can be an inner stimulus or a social stimulus.
Neuro associative conditioning experts claim that everything we do is driven by two forces: pain and pleasure. The scriptures call these two forces LOVE and FEAR.


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When we are driven by pain or fear, we are using painful (negative) motivation, and when we are driven by pleasure or love, we are employing positive (pleasant) motivation. Both positive motivation and negative motivation can happen because of internal (inner) factors or external (social) ones like if youth are not interested in what they are being thought. They will not pay attention and will not learn. To induce the teenagers to learn we must capture and hold their attention. Otherwise, young people will not learn to be production citizens, innovators, or anything else we hope to teach them.

The general approach to interesting teens is no great mystery. If the instruction motives satisfy their motive in order to capture their attention in the first place. They will want to pay attention and in the process may achieve educational objectives. However control is a most human prevalent motivating force that expresses and manifest itself in humans’ superiors’ control of their environment as this is important to human behavior and achievement cannot be overemphasized.

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True life Story of When A Friend Messes Up

When one of my best friends started making some bad choices, I knew I had to talk to her. Bekah (not her real name) was a leader in a couple of Christian clubs at our school, someone who'd always taken a strong stand for her faith. So when she went out drinking on that New Year's Eve, I felt, as a friend, that I needed to say something.
When she dropped by my house to return a sweater she'd borrowed, I swallowed hard and spoke up.
"I don't want you to think I'm judging you," I said. "But we promised each other that if we ever started doing stuff like this we'd call each other on it."
"You're right," Bekah said. "But I'm tired of being known as the 'good girl.' I had a lot of fun the other night, and even if it's wrong, it's what I want to do right now.


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"
I went on to tell her that this was about more than just her. It was about her responsibilities as a leader. It was about the mixed messages she was sending. And it was about my concern for a good friend. Bekah said she appreciated my concern, but she had decided this was how she wanted to live her life for now. It was one of the hardest conversations I've ever had, but I knew it was the right thing to do. So, how are we supposed to respond when a Christian friend messes up?

Why Confront?

Confrontation is never comfortable, but sometimes it's just the right thing to do—like when I confronted Bekah.
But why bother? A few reasons: 
 

Firstly, Bekah's lifestyle choices contradicted the faith she proclaimed, and she knew it. The Bible calls this "willful sin". When we continue in willful sin, it becomes more comfortable, and our hearts and attitudes grow hard toward God.
Secondly, because Bekah was a Christian leader, she had a duty to be a godly example to other students. But her drinking and partying showed no difference between her life and that of a non-believer.
And it's not just Christian friends who may need confronting. Sometimes we should lovingly and graciously confront a non-believing friend who's making self-destructive choices. In any case, a close friendship is essential for any confrontation. Don't confront someone you hardly know; you haven't earned the right. But even with a strong friendship, you'll certainly want to pray about whether you should confront, and if so, what you should say.

How Do You Confront?

Here are things to think about when considering confronting a friend:
Seek guidance. Before you confront, ask for advice. And not from your peers, but from someone older and wiser, like your youth pastor or another Christian you trust.
Let love lead. My main concern with Bekah was that she understood that I loved her and that I wasn't judging her. I wanted her to know I didn't want to see her hurt herself or others. Love should always be our main motivation.
Keep it private. Jesus tells us to first confront a fellow believer one-on-one. If the person won't listen and change, then "take one or two others with you and go back again" If the person still refuses to change, then "take your case to the church" -which means it's time to get other Christian leaders involved, like a youth pastor or the adult leader of your Christian club.But remember: Start privately before bringing others into it.
Now let’s take a look at the different stories.

Lion And The Mouse

“So,” clarified Hosh, “the moral of Aesop’s 'Lion and the Mouse' story was to make friends, however weak or strong they may be.”
“Friends can be very useful, even when they are very small. Even the tiny mouse was able to help the mighty lion by saving his life!"
“For sure,” agreed Rosh. "The smallest creature can help the mightiest creature at some point. But it also shows that it is pointless to ridicule people for being small and weak, poor and useless.”
“Size and resourcefulness are not always as effective, as one expects them to be. The lion’s weren’t, when he got trapped.”
“The mouse was very brave, Pa,” Hosh commented. “But why did he run away?”
“Because he wasn’t stupid,” replied Rosh. “He was grateful that the lion had spared his life. So, he came back to help him and repaid his debt. But friendship lasts among equals.”
“Let us assume, that the story had continued without the mouse running away. Let us assume that the lion, feeling grateful to the mouse for freeing him, became his friend.”
“Would their relationship have lasted? Not very likely, as the mouse is part of the lion’s food chain. How can prey and predator live together as friends?”
“Even if they are able to, what about the others around them. Lions live in a pride. With other lions. Mice are social creatures too. They live with mice.”
“Mice around lions is no danger to lions, but lions around mice means mortal danger to mice. They could get eaten by the other lions in the pride, or even just trampled over by the big cats.”
“So, wanting to repay one's debt might be a virtue, but exposing yourself to constant danger is stupidity. It would have been lack of judgment by the mouse, had he stayed back.”
“Lions understand love and gratitude, but for the mouse to aspire to live together with a lion would be presumptuous. Such foolish ambitions are doomed to end in grief.”

The Wolf And The Lamb 

"The bully beat me up again today," Josh sobbed, "even though it wasn't my fault."
Rosh hugged him close and heard his story. It was quickly coming to a point when Josh was beginning to lose his desire to go to school at all.
He didn't want to go to school authorities again, as he wasn't sure who to blame for these repeat incidences. He knew Josh was naughty too, but the repeat beatings were another matter altogether.
"From next week, you are going to join Karate lessons," he said after Josh had finished speaking, "you will at least learn to defend yourself, if you can't learn to keep out of trouble in the first place."
"Let me also tell you something very important about bullies. You can't reason with them. When I was a child your age I read an Aesopian story about a Wolf and a Lamb."
“A hungry wolf was once drinking water at a stream. Looking up, he saw a little lamb drinking water further down from him.
‘There's my dinner,’ he thought, ‘if I can find some excuse to grab it.’
“Hey you,” he called out to the lamb, "How dare you dirty the water I am drinking?"
"No Sir," gasped the surprised lambkin, "if the water is muddy up there, it cannot be because of anything I’ve done, as it runs downhill from you to me."
“We’ll have to investigate that,” warned the wolf as he walked down menacingly towards the little lamb. The lamb stood his ground knowing that he hadn’t done anything wrong and had spoken the truth.
"I know you!" growled the wolf with sudden recognition, as he inched closer to the lamb, "you are the guy who swore at me this time last year."
"Couldn’t have been me, Sir" refuted the lamb, "I am not even six months old yet."
“Must have been your father then,” snapped the wolf, getting closer and angrier.
The lamb sensed real danger now, and began to tremble. But it was too late to run.
“Sir,” he pleaded, completely scared, “I can only apologize for my father, if he ever did so.”
“How dare you doubt my word, you shithead!” snarled the wolf, his fangs now bared with anger, “You need to be taught some manners.”
“Sorry Sir,” the lambkin bleated, “if I have offended you. I didn’t mean to. I’ll never do it again.”
“No you won’t,” thundered the wolf, “Cos you won’t be alive to insult me again.”
With that, he pounced on the lambkin and tore him apart.
"Any excuse will serve a bully. It is pointless trying to reason with them or trying to placate them. You only make them angrier by doing so. But there are other ways to deal with them. The easiest is not to be caught alone with them. Stay in groups. Always. There is safety in the crowd.”
“Bullies are cowards really, and they will only bully you if they catch you in a place where no one can see them, or where they can scare the others around them. So, make friends and be with friends. Don't be alone.”
"Remember the Spanish saying, Lobo hambriento no tiene asiento. A hungry wolf doesn't hang about. So, try and stay away from one, as much as you can."


The Burdens that we carry

Most burdens we carry, like anger, are burdens of the mind.
Story of two Buddhist monks.
The elder carried a helpless girl to safety and left her there, but …
“Spit your anger now,” Qosh said to his son lovingly, “and eat some food. If you won’t eat, I won’t eat too.”
Rosh looked at his father and pouted, “You got angry, when it wasn’t even my fault.”
“Sorry son, if it wasn’t your fault,” Qosh answered sincerely. “Please forgive me for that."
"Elders can make mistakes too sometimes, you know. But you shouldn’t be angry for this long.”
“If elders can get angry for the wrong reasons, why can’t I, when I am truly wronged?” Rosh questioned.
Qosh lifted his son in his arms and brought him down from the hot dark room in which he had isolated himself for hours.
As Dev served them both dinner, Qosh continued, “Yes, I get angry. And you have a right to be angry too. It is only human to feel anger."
"But my anger is momentary. It comes. And then it goes, as quickly as it came. Yours though, lingers too long. That is no good. Not for you, not for others.”
“When I was a child, I heard a story of two Buddhist monks who were travelling through a flood ravaged plain. Buddhist monks have to lead a life of strict vows, one of which is of celibacy. In this order, they were not even allowed to touch a woman.”
“When these two monks crossing the flooded plain came around a bend, they saw a lovely young girl stuck on the roof of a hut. Waters were still rising, as heavy rain poured around them. The girl was terrified by the increasing danger, yet afraid to enter the flood waters around her.”
"Here girl," said the elder monk. “Hop on my back. I’ll take you across.”
The younger monk was startled, but kept quiet.
‘He teaches me restraint, ‘he thought, ‘yet he couldn't restrain himself, when the first opportunity came along. One set of rules for himself, another set of rules for others. What a hypocrite!’
The elder lifted her on his back and started to walk away. As he followed them silently, he couldn’t help thinking, ‘He could have asked me to carry her. I am younger and stronger. Why didn’t he? Did he want to touch her so much?’
He also couldn’t help notice the girl’s beauty. The more he looked and thought, the more he felt torn between guilt and derision, ‘He’s only trying to help her. He’s only trying to lead by example. Oh, why do I feel like that? Why do I mistrust my mentor so?’
Quietly, the monks waded through the flooded plain. The younger monk simmered in his thoughts and questions. Rage vanquished rationale. He did not speak as they traveled, but noted with dismay, the elder’s vitality.
He seemed to be in high spirits soaking up the sunshine, relishing the chatter of birds.
It was wet and cold everywhere, but anger smoked up inside the young monk. Rising slowly, like magma rises from deep within the womb of the earth.
‘Is this Dhamma?’ he brooded. ‘No wonder we are told to stay away from women. Look what she does to him with her touch. And what she does to me, without.’
When they finally reached high ground and safety, the elder put the girl down. The young monk was livid by the time they reached the monastery, but held his tongue. The elder went about his work cheerfully, but the younger couldn’t focus at all.
What remained of the day finished quickly, doing the chores the floods had created. Night fell and the monks retired. The elder monk snored peacefully. The younger, who lay awake beside him, tossed and turned.
Time crawled forward at a snail's pace, watching the tormented monk, reluctant to leave him be and move on. Past midnight, the younger monk was unable to restrain himself any longer.
He jostled up the elder and demanded, “Explain yourself!”
“What?” the elder was startled out of his slumber. “Explain what?”
“The woman!” the younger accused, breathing hard.
“What woman?” the elder inquired groggily, still half asleep.
"Don’t you even remember?” the younger snapped. "That lovely young woman you carried on your back. We are not allowed to touch women, let alone carry them around. Why did you carry her?"
“Oh her!” answered the elder tiredly. “I left her back there. Why are you still carrying her?”
When young Rosh looked at his father uncomprehendingly, Qosh explained, “The elder had only carried the scared, stranded girl to safety, but the younger monk had brought her here to the monastery."
"Not physically, but she was still there with him. Most burdens we carry son, are burdens of the mind.”
“When I anger, it happens, then it's over. It cannot be changed, but it happened for a reason. I do it, but then I move on. Like the elder."
"But you remember all your hurts. When you do that, you still carry them with you. You keep them alive. You need to put them down, and move on. Dwelling on the hurt keeps it alive, deepens it.”
“Forgetfulness heals. Even when we can’t forgive, we must let things go. For not until we let them go, can we begin on our journey away from them. Hurts that are forgotten, are wounds that have healed. Let them heal.”

Positive and Negative Motivation

In my childhood, I was always getting verbal and non verbal messages that “I wasn’t good enough,” so most of my life, I was determined to prove my haters and doubters wrong.
My “I will do what they think I can’t do,” fueled me to do many positive things, but this was not motivation, it was bitterness, anger, resentment… and to some extent, revenge. And this was self-damaging and self-sabotaging.
Sometime along this path, I realized that while doing the right thing for the wrong reason may actually bring you the results you want, it may steal the joy you thought you’d experience with your achievement.
Many of the choices I made as a teen and young adult were fear-based. I was seeking to avoid being treated unfairly, being thought of as “less than,” and feeling ignored. And while this may have added momentum and leverage to my goal, and probably was useful to avoid danger, damage, and disaster, it didn’t exactly lead to beaming joy and perpetual bliss.
Remember F.R.I.E.N.D.S., the sitcom? Flashbacks revealed that Monica lost weight to get back at Chandler for mocking her. She wanted him to feel sorry he ever rejected her. She did achieve the weight goal, but she wasn’t any happier, and as a matter of fact, this ended up causing turmoil and heartache.

Internal Positive Motivation springs out of tapping into your personal passion, talents, skills, and strengths, as well as self-validation, a burning desire, or a fun challenge. This leads to increased energy, sustainable joy, lasting success, and a sense of fulfillment.
External Positive Motivation can be fueled by monetary rewards and financial security, titles and professional recognition, and other gains and achievements, and therefore, can cause burnout, stress, anxiety, and unfulfillment.
Internal Negative Motivation is when you act to avoid pain or fear:
  1. You may want to do something to cover up guilt and self-blame.
  2. You may want to do more because you often experience feelings of inadequacy or insecurity.
  3. You want to prove someone she’s wrong about you and you will show your worth through achievement.
External Negative Motivation is seeking the approval of others and avoiding the pain of rejection:
  1. You may feel fear of failure, fear of dismissal or rejection, or fear of judgment.
  2. You may be striving for perfection or to be at the level of someone you compare yourself to.
  3. You want to change because of coercion or pressure from someone else.
The thing with negative motivation is that you end up feeling hopeless, helpless, and overwhelmed. You will feel anxiety and disappointment, even if you’re successful in doing what you set out to do, especially when it’s not impressive to those you want to prove wrong.

Getting Teens Excited

It's a question nearly as old as the Testaments: How can church leaders forge a lasting bond with young people?
Youth ministers seeking clues will find many in the results of a new survey of what teens want from church. Pollsters from Barna Group, which tracks teen religious activity, asked 2,400 teens to rank the reasons they attend worship services. Gaining a better understanding of what they believe and making a connection with God topped the list, followed closely by wanting to volunteer to help others and to spend time with friends. Also registering as "very important" factors, though to a lesser extent, were classes studying the Bible as well as issues surrounding religious faith.
When coupled with conclusions of scholarly research, a pattern emerges. "The amount of freedom and opportunity kids have in high school to express and wrestle with doubt, the mysteries of scripture and its applicability to the problems in their own lives is related to the maturity of their faith [as young adults]," says Kara Powell, executive director of Fuller Seminary's Center for Youth and Family Ministry.

The poll also confirms anecdotal evidence collected by those who regularly interact with adolescents. "I've talked to a lot of kids with emotional pain and pent-up anger stemming from a variety of factors including divorce and abuse, and they are looking for hope and help in the church," says Shannon Primicerio, a lecturer and author on religious topics whose work is targeted to teens.
There's a lot at stake. Those who seek but don't find typically abandon religion, often never to return."So many youth ministries quickly become irrelevant to teens, "because pastors get kids excited with cool video clips and cutting-edge music, but then when a parent gets cancer and the teenager is lying in bed wondering what life is all about, he or she discovers there's nothing to sustain them."

Furthermore, there's good reason to believe that the current generation of young adults are fleeing church in greater numbers and will be harder to lure back than previous ones. Although 61% of people in the 20-29 age group participated in church activities during their teens, that entire chunk now falls into the spiritually disengaged category. Moreover, only a third of 20-somethings who are parents regularly take their children to church, compared with 40% of parents in their 30s and half of parents who are 40 or older. "Even the impulse of parenthood—when people's desire to supply spiritual guidance for their children traditionally pulls them back to church—is weakening," concludes David Kinnaman, Barna's research director.

"Despite all that's been done in youth ministry in the past 20 to 40 years, at the present rate we're looking at only a small percentage of people who are teens now becoming Bible-believing evangelicals as adults," laments Ron Luce, president of TeenMania, the parachurch organization that has attracted more than 200,000 teens to its stadium-worship events and missions activities already this year. To lower the odds of that outcome,



In summary,


The capture motives and strategy planning of ministry events should aimed at attracting more young people. This goal would be a  mighty ambitious to double the size of each of the youth congregations annually. "The only way to do it is to teach them to become serious followers of Christ so that the Bible becomes the compass for their lives, rather than pop culture."


References:
Elayna Fernández
www.time.com
www.taletown.org
Book.google.com


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